One And The Same
by Lux Hart
Summary: Set after Bender's Big Score. Leela described Lars as "he's the only man I could ever love," so what happens when Lars is no longer here, and she is left only with the knowledge of who Fry really is?


**Author's Notes:** Set after Bender's Big Score and before any following movies and/or episodes.  
**Rating:** K. Themes of death and grief throughout.

**Disclaimer: **Futurama belongs to its rightful owners. No copyright intended.

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Leela winced as the door clicked to a close behind her. She knew it was needless to worry, but sneaking around at night was an understandable cause for paranoia. With the door closed she released her grip on the handle and tip-toed across the room, careful to keep her steps silent and watch her feet for something which may have been left stray on the floor. The employees of Planet Express were never known for their neatness or cleanliness, and she took careful precaution to bring this knowledge to the forefront of her memory.

With her hands out in front of her and moving with tentative steps, Leela felt cold metal brush against the tips of her fingers and could make out a soft green colour in front of her eye. She'd reached it without so much as kicking something across the room. In the horrors which had made up her week, she had to find small victory in such an act.

Leela stepped onto the raised platform and trailed her hands along the spaceship before she reached its point of interest. From her coat pocket she retrieved her keys and pressed one into the lock, turning it with a wince as the remainder of the keys on her chain jingled together. Years ago The Professor had attempted to have all employees hand in their keys at the end of their shift, but Leela had managed to keep her own. That was the reward one received for being predictable and reliable.

Another wince came from her as the door clicked unlocked and swung open with a slight squeak. She would have to oil that tomorrow, back when she was supposed to be in possession of the ship. She closed to door behind her with considerably less sound than the opposite had produced, and could now let out a sigh of relief. Step one of her plan had gone off without a hitch.

Now for the hard part.

Leela didn't have to worry about the sound of her footfalls across the ship, but she was still wary of her sounds outside and avoided being in plain sight of the windshield, least someone come into the room and switch the light on. One problem with this plan: she had to make that final leap to actually get anywhere. Bracing herself, she shot across the room and into the captain's seat. For a moment, Leela found herself hesitating at the controls. There was an almost certainty the noise of the roof opening and the ship taking off would wake The Professor, no matter how easily he may sleep through events. Her luck would make this an exception; she wasn't so naïve to the fact.

Yet she had to do this. The sleepless nights she spent lying in bed, either consumed by tears or seething with anger, had driven her to such a decision. Besides, there would be no long term consequences. She knew how to fly.

Without further stalling she pushed her finger into the button and heard the thunder of the roof pulling open and letting in the night sky, the moon and stars illuminating the floor of the building and reflecting into her spaceship. It was beautiful, the night always was. Lars had taken her walking along the streets during it often enough, leading to conversations about life, love, the future. A future he should have been fully aware of before he forced her into all this pain.

Leela slammed her keys into the ship and started it up. No second thoughts as she out the ship into gear, pressed her foot onto the accelerator, and rose up and out of the Planet Express headquarters. She may or may not have seen light fill the room before the roof pulled to a close once more as she shot off into the night sky.

It didn't matter whether someone may or may not have spotted her stealing the Planet Express spaceship; it would be back in good time and maybe she wouldn't even be found responsible but, if she were, Leela was certain her fellow employees would be understanding. Or at least she had to tell herself, because there was no turning back just yet.

In a matter of seconds Leela found herself in the midst of darkness that was space. Traffic was as stocked and slow as usual, having to accommodate for the solar systems differentiation on time zones, vaster than even those changes on earth. Not wanting to face anyone who might recognise her, Leela rose higher and sped through the other ships, ignoring calls of "Slow down!" or "Where's yer depth perception?" as she strained her eye in search of the place she needed to be.

It was almost instinctual as she guided her ship through the universe. With no scientific or mathematical clue into the direction, she was reliant on nothing, but deep down she knew her heart was at play. It didn't take nearly as long as she expected to see Orbiting Meadows.

It also hurt more than she had anticipated.

Her hands gripped tighter to the wheel as she jauntily turned the ship toward the orbiting cemetery. Her breath hitched and she was forced to swallow down the emotion which threatened and begged to rise from her throat. This wasn't the time or the place to be in such a scenario. _Pull it together, Leela! _She flew toward her desired destination.

She haltered her ship in its designated place, and then hesitated. Leela's palms were sweating and she was almost certain her breathing bordered on the edge of a panic attack. The palpitations weren't new, but they may have been coming faster and stronger at this point – it was hard to tell when your mind was flown from rational thought. She wasn't ready to do this. What had she been thinking? Now that she could take a step back and survey the situation, she was struck by her own stupidity. Stealing the ship? Running off into the night? Coming out to the graveyard to see her dead fiancé? How crazy!

Leela took a deep breath and swallowed down all of her thoughts and doubts. No. She wasn't crazy. Just grieving. Just in pain over the loss of a man she had been willing to dedicate her entire life to. As she already told Fry less than a week ago, Lars was she only man she could ever love. This was normal pain, a normal pain all went through when they lost someone they loved.

But, if it were normal, why did it hurt so much?

She pressed her face into her arms which were already splayed across the steering wheel. That way she wasn't forced to look and see either the resting place of Lars or the enormous monument reminding her of Fry. She couldn't bear to face either, because both were filled with memories.

Fry himself had tried to be nothing but caring and supportive yet, in many ways, this made her anger boil. Fry was the reason Lars was no longer here! Of course such a thought was horrendous, and she had shoved it deep into her brain and refuse to bring up such a vile thought. She couldn't hate Fry; to do so was a horrible act of vengeance. And vengeance wouldn't bring Lars back. Nothing would.

More than anything, it was this thought which brought her to stand and exit the ship, which made her walk across the cemetery, and which made her kneel down beside Lars' gravestone and just stare.

Why did she always fall for the wrong man? Every man she had contemplated loving in her _life _had ran from her whenever the going became tough or when the flaws she possessed – and she knew they were many and arrayed – were placed into view. She also knew this wasn't the situation with Lars, but she couldn't help and feel as though there were some similarities. She looked up and out of the dome, into the universe with its darkness only lit with stars. Did the universe want her to be lonely forever? Was this a decreasingly less subtle attempt to force her back into the sewers? Was she just created in such a way that love was a foreign concept for her to ever imagine?

"I love you," she said softly and ran her hand over the smooth stone that stood as Lars's final message to the world. How bizarre we should be summarised to a name, date of birth and death, and a few short words for our lifetime. How frightening.

Of course she received no response, and that was the worst part of all of this. That forever silence which continued to plague her long into the night and deep into the day. What she wouldn't give to hear the words fall from his lips just one last time.

"Leela...?"

She whipped her head around as the sound of her name reached her ears, eye trailing up from the sneakers, to the jeans, to the white shirt encased in red, and, finally, the face topped with unbrushed orange hair. "Fry? What are you doing here?"

"Uh, long story," he said, scuffing his foot into the dirt, "Bender's annoyed at me 'cause I thought this fembot wasn't one, so I ended up sleeping in the ship..." He looked up and smiled sheepishly. "Like I said, long story."

She nodded with a sudden awkwardness of the situation; sitting in front of the grave of her dead fiancé after having hijacked the Planet Express ship and having taken Fry with her as a hostage – even if the latter wasn't her intention. How exactly was she going to find her way through this?

"He was a good guy," Fry said, his voice stronger than it had been with his wayward explanation of being here.

"You were," her own voice carried on Fry's strength. The words they had shared only a few days ago, but the meaning never left. Lars was Fry and Fry was Lars. She just had to pull herself out of finding this a negative aspect, and instead see the positives of never really losing Lars. "Will you sit here with me?"

Fry stepped forward and dropped to his knees beside her, his lips turning up into a smile of support. She smiled back, though it faltered and she felt pin pricks of moisture strike the corner of her eye. Leela sniffed back the sensation and laced her hand around Fry's. "You were a great guy." She said and squeezed his hand tighter, moving her head to rest on his shoulder.

It didn't matter what reprimand would come to her – or Fry – tomorrow when the Plant Express ship was returned. Inevitably Fry would spill the beans of what happened, not to ever be vindictive, but because it was in his nature. It didn't matter that, chances were, she would continue to spend her nights without the respite of sleep. And it really didn't matter that sitting here with Fry was one of the most wonderful moments she had ever experienced.

She just had here and now, and the bittersweet moments were what she needed to cherish.

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**A/N: **I'm aware it's a bit of a stretch to fit Fry in here :P. But, knowing Fry, this is exactly something he would do, isn't it? And that's why we love him!


End file.
